Funny Report India Matches Sri Lanka Teams

“Fire or Retire” works like egg on Sehwag’s face

India vs Sri Lanka ODI match Brisbane 5 February, 2008 – A Fun Report

These were the other possible headlines:
– “Fire or retire” works like egg on face for Sehwag
– only Gambhir (hindi for serious) was serious, maybe it’s something to do with his surname
– dalliance with Tiwary till Yuvraj said yes
– India batsmen fall in line – again a repeat lesson in discipline
– Rain God remains adamant and furious at Duckworth and Lewis

Today India pushed out Manoj Tiwary, but not before they had explained why dropping him would be counterproductive to his confidence. Well Manoj, welcome to harsh world of reality. You have to “Fire or Retire”.

With rain impending, Dhoni belied all expert’s take, except yours truly to Bat first. Maybe he understands the D/L rule very well, or maybe he was too sure of a washout to want to get some crucial match practice.

Well “Fire or Retire” worked with Sehwag very well. Just like egg on face works for Murali, and B****d works for Harbhajan and .. ahem well Maa ki works for Symonds. Wow! We are soon going to have slogans/ power packs for all of them. Wooooeeeeeeee.

Sachin just started off the blocks trifle more carefully with 16000 in sight. So he just crossed that before he went back for some rest. Anyway, their moderate start was enjoyed by some but there was no tearful farewells as Sachin went. However, true to tradition, Sehwag, Yuvraj and Rohit were too much overcome by grief and left after him. Wow! the way they go in a line.. is a lesson in discipline for youngsters!!

Well again it was left to the captain to salvage the innings. He didn’t disappoint, and alongwith Gambhir he first slowly and then gainfully went for the target set by yours truly in his prediction. He almost reached there but was short by 4 runs. Well it was a good century even if he (Gambhir) had to play the last few balls drenched in the rain and spoil the pitch. They smashed Murali and Vaas as they knew them too well. They played Malinga more carefully since he was a little less familiar. So it was obvious that they treat Amerasinghe with the utmost respect since he was the newest kid on the block. What is the opposite of “sledging”? “Complimenting”?

It was obvious that once Gambhir scored his century, the match was abandoned since neither India was sure with this score, nor Sri Lanka was sure they could achieve this score as last year they were not able to manage above 250 most of the time. Sanath’s era is over! We are waiting to see if he has been able to influence any Sri Lankan youngster to be like him..

Well Rain God showed his anger with Duckworth Lewis once more and did not allow those silly rules to be used. Would any of Duckworth or Lewis come forward and apologize please?

(the above are written in a funny mood and not intended to hurt your sentiment – i doubt if any actual players gets time to read – so please don’t (get) hurt yourself defending them

About the author

Vineet Kapoor

Born in 1966, BE (Mechanical), MBA (Marketing & Finance). Worked previously in Tata Sons, Essar Cellphone etc. before venturing out.

Special interest: Is a Poet, Writer, Photographer, Artist, founder member of different alumni associations

Member: ASCI (Administrative Staff College of India), Institution of Mechanical Engineers, Bombay Productivity Council, UBS Alumni Association (Secretary, Chandigarh Chapter)